Jul 3, 2010

Baby Rocker Project

When I was in grade 13 (high school went to 13 when I was at school), I was really into Alternative music and everything that went along with it. There were always a few school bands on the go, and they usually played similar styles of music, although crappier versions of the ‘real’ thing. This was normally the case until I was reluctantly dragged to some high school battle of the bands event and there was a band that performed that really stood out. Their songs were surprisingly polished, had good lyrics with catchy tunes... and fantastically alternative. I almost could feel myself transforming into a groupie, and to top it off, I was completely smitten with their drummer; I had selected my prey. He was my kind of hot which meant a slightly stalky, teddy bear kind of guy. He had a short, spiked hair style with some blue colouring streaked through it. His clothing consisted of a fitted retro logo ringer T-shirt with an un-buttoned bowler shirt over-top, loose fitting cargo pants, Doc Marten boots and a big chain that connected his wallet to his pants.

I WANT HIM NOW! WHO IS THAT CUTIE AND WHY HAVEN’T I SEEN HIM AT SCHOOL?

Well, I quickly found out why... he was only 16 and in grade 10 (which meant he had a different lunch period than seniors, and had little opportunity to interact with juniors). OK, so he was 3 years younger than me (which is a huge gap in a high school context), but I still couldn’t ignore the carnal attraction I had to this guy. Then more news filtered in... this guy had a girlfriend... and she was in grade 9! BAHAHA. I didn’t even see that information as an issue. I was about to commence in sexual warfare with a little 14 year old girl. No contest.

I made my intentions known to this guy right away. I wasn’t normally so forward with guys, but I felt that I could use my ‘older woman’ angle to my advantage, and it gave me courage I had no idea I possessed. I attended all their subsequent shows for a couple months. I really did think they were a very talented band, so that helped. The little girlfriend came to the ‘All Ages’ gigs, but at the licensed events, he was all mine. We would hang out in between sets and sometimes after the gig. I could buy alcohol; I had my own car and was sexually experienced and assertive... which in itself was like Spanish Fly to many 16 year old boys. A lot of my friends knew about the latest focus of my affections – they called it my Baby Rocker Project.

The little girlfriend really started to hate me. She and her friends would give me dirty looks in the hall – like I gave a shit. Grade 9 students were like ants, physically and socially, and I was a monarchical senior, top of the food chain. Actually, I found it amusing! I never did anything directly to her – although she despised me for pursuing her boyfriend (which was totally understandable) if I did confront her, she probably would have cried or something annoying like that. Then, I would have just felt like a nasty bitch and it would have ruined all my fun. I much preferred the label of Predatory Skank, thank you very much!

Finally, after a 19+ gig they did at the local pub (band members’ ages excluded, of course), the band hung around with a group of us. He still managed to get a hold of a few drinks, and we were having a great time together. After last call, the two of us had made our way outside. The shop across from the pub had a 4 step porch, and I led him over to it. I couldn’t take it anymore; I felt I had done my due-diligence for the past 2 months and now it was pay day. I sat down on the top step, spread my legs apart and pulled him in towards me by grabbing his belt buckle. He didn’t object thus far, so as he knelt down in front of me, I wrapped my legs around him and went in for the kiss and it was fabulous! Being the eager kid that he was, he went directly for the under-the-top boob action... and I couldn’t care less.

Go for it, kiddo! 

I’m sure that was still forbidden territory with his tweenie girlfriend. He was pressing up so close to me, I could feel how hard he was and I took that opportunity to do some of my own feeling around. His euphoric moans for these basic 101 moves were an indication that this was not a common occurrence for him – it was definitely a step up his intensity ladder. We were there for only a few minutes and then his older brother appeared around the corner, looking for him to drive home. He jumped up and said, “Pleeease, don’t tell my girlfriend!” Of course I never did; I didn’t care enough to.

I pretty much lost interest after that; I finally got what I had come for. I had completed my Baby Rocker Project and was satisfied with the results. I still occasionally listened to his CD, but I really wasn’t trying to pursue him for a potential relationship – that would have just been silly; he was in fact way too young for me during high school. I just wanted a good old fashioned Band Member & Groupie make-out session, with our vintage T-shirts rubbing up against each other, and that’s exactly what I got.

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious! Love it - especially the ending with the vintage T-shirts. Bahaa.

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