We were coming home from a basketball game on a Saturday night, and we ended up holding hands in the back seat of the car. All the hairs on my neck were tingling and my heart was racing. When we got dropped off, we were the only 2 at home. We decided to watch a movie and then 5 minutes in to it, the usual mercy fight began. I ended up underneath him on the floor; he was straddling me, pinning my hands above my head. He then let go, ran his hands down my arms and lifted my top over my head. The kisses started at my bellybutton, and then followed slowly all over my chest, and then up to my neck. It was the most wonderfully painful anticipation I’d ever had in a make-out session, up to that point in my life. He finally gave me a deep and hard kiss. It was incredible!
After a while of rolling around on the floor, he kept saying, “What are we doing? What are we doing?” And then he would answer himself, “Who cares, it’s so fucking right.”
And it was right... if the situation was ANYTHING but the one we were in. It was like a fucked-up modern-day Romeo & Juliet story. I wasn’t supposed to get involved with anyone on my placement, let alone a member of my own host family!
Two days later, we planned to meet up at lunch and take the afternoon off school, together. He had just got out of the shower when I got home; still slightly wet, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist...Yum! We went up to his room and he laid me gently on his bed, taking off my clothes. I was SUPER self-conscious about my body because I had acne on my chest, shoulders and back. He looked me right in the eyes and calmly whispered to me that I looked beautiful– that definitely helped me relax– he was so sweet! He took out a condom and gave it to me...
Umm, Yeah... And...?
I was scared out of my mind! I put one on a banana once, a couple years before in health class, but that was it! Luckily, he helped a little and it went on the way it was supposed to. I even managed to remember to leave room at the tip!
I always heard that the first time hurts a lot, but here’s the thing... there are factors to that. Your masturbation habits, fore-play, and the size of the guy’s penis. So, I had the first factor taken care of; I think I had been “exploring myself” since I was about 8 years old. Secondly, the fore-play was great, and lasted a good while. Lastly, he was a good ‘average’ size (Which I really had no basis for comparison at that point). If the guy is hung like a horse, it’s going to hurt whether it’s your first time or 100th time, so if it IS your first time, it might be unfortunate for you. My experience? It was OK; it didn’t hurt at all. However, I was more focused on what was actually happening between the two of us, emotionally, rather than the act itself. After that moment everything changed for me. I fell profoundly in love with him that day, fast and hard.
Considering our situation, it was only going to end one way– badly.