I had been in lust with a guy from school for about 4 months. Historically, I had a terrible habit of becoming “great pals” with guys that I liked... and then it would become too late to pursue anything romantically. My timing really sucked, but THIS guy was extra special, and extra hot! We really hit it off from day one, and spent a lot of time together. My stomach never stopped doing back-flips every time he would hug me goodbye. Even when he stole my cigarettes right from my mouth, I would get turned on. I wanted to jump him so badly; it became my all-consuming goal, like I was a lioness and he was my elusive gazelle that kept escaping my clutches. Meee-oww! Sometimes I felt like I needed someone to spray me with a hose to snap me out of it! It was bordering on addiction, and I knew it, and didn’t give a shit what anyone else said.
One Saturday night we ended up at a party for a friend of mine from another school, so we really didn’t know very many people there. We got good and drunk – but in that perfect “clumsy but everything is still funny” kind of drunkenness. It was getting late and we thought it would be fun to go outside for a pee break (the toilets were totally packed). Even though I was on my period (the heaviest day, too), I didn’t care at this point. We went behind a huge tree that was on a small incline, sheltered from most lines of sight. After he had finished, he came over to me while I still had my pants down around my ankles. We were both laughing and as I stood up, he started kissing me. WHOAAAA! I WAS SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE – SO DAMN EXCITED. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. We shimmied slightly away from the pee area and fell back down on to the grass. I told him that I was on my period and he said, “I don’t care, I want you now!” Well hell, he didn’t have to say that twice! I pulled out my tampon and flung it towards the adjacent sports’ field. We didn’t have a condom, which we also didn’t seem to care about. I think this is one of those “heat of the moment” bad decisions that Degrassi Junior High warns you about. I’m not going to lie; it was incredible sex! A lot of passion, and pent-up sexual tension was all let out at once. I didn’t care about the after effects, the consequences or anything. All I cared about was that after 4 long months of pining away for this guy, I actually got him!
The next morning, I realized what happened. A part of me was, of course, still so happy, as I really felt deeply for this guy! But then the mortification sunk in... YUUUUCK! He must have been completely covered in blood from the waist down, because I was too – from my bellybutton down to my knees. So totally disgusting! I finally got to express my true feelings for this guy and now I will never be able to look him in the face.
We never spoke of it after that night but stayed together for a long time; so he must have been OK with it... more OK than I was! Luckily, I didn’t get pregnant. Of course, it WAS high school, so everyone found out (about the sex, NOT the period part) and it turned out that it was his first time! SAY WHAT NOW? He was super hot and I knew a lot of girls that he had fooled around with, so I assumed he was a “veteran”, but apparently, it was always only the first couple “bases” that he did with anyone. Some of his friends patted me on the back and congratulated me on “popping his cherry”. Funny how they phrased it that way – if they only knew how right they were.