Alcohol + Hormones = Drama

It was a huge turnout at our mate’s 18th birthday party at the local football club. I went with my mate Amy, and we vowed that at least one of us would be “good”. Well, that obviously didn’t happen.

After a few ciders, a hiccup turned into a chunk of projectile vomit that sprayed right past the guy I liked – of course. He had to duck and then laughed at me, hard!

I was totally mortified.

But at that moment, all I cared about was getting to the toilet. I ended up in one of only 2 stalls in the women’s loo, praying to the porcelain goddess to kill me instead of having to live through the constant vomiting that I was experiencing. It was one of the sickest I had ever been, and still to this day, in my life.... well, due to alcohol, anyway. I had one of our mates, Steve, coming in to the women’s loo, holding my head back by grabbing my ponytail and trying to get me to drink water while he laughed hysterically at my pathetic condition.

Then, all of a sudden, I heard the most horrifying barf beside me in the next stall. It sounded like a small dinosaur ate her young and then brought it back up for a second taste. I peeked under to see if I recognised her from the knees down. Then, Steve yelled, “Amy, you silly bitch!”

Oh shit – you had got to be kidding!

We were supposed to be taking care of each other that night! Instead, we had put the women’s loo totally out of commission; occupied by 2 pitiful girls that couldn’t hold down their liquor.

After a while, we were both stable enough to gather our things to leave in shame and attempt the journey home. It was pouring down with rain and exceedingly windy – to which our 1 sad little umbrella was utterly useless against it. We had no money for a taxi, of course. We ended up walking the entire way back to her father’s place, which was a little over 1 hour of drunken walking from where we were.

We both cried the entire way home, soaking wet and extremely drunk.

We had to stop a few times for vomit sessions, which made us cry even more; we were so cold and utterly miserable. We both thought that walk would never end; it felt like an eternity.

When we FINALLY got back, her father was sitting in the lounge, waiting for us, wondering why we didn’t ring him to pick us up, like we had planned.

CRAP.