Sep 17, 2012

Craft Whores, Of Course

Here we go, people! It's time to link up your Craft Whore creations (from now until September 20th). Check out The Suniverse and The Bearded Iris for all the juicy details on the prizes and who are the highly esteemed judges. Well, they are definitely esteemed, still not 100% sure about the high part, but nevertheless, they agreed to do it.

One of the only best things about being an art teacher was having my own dark room and kiln. I was sad to say goodbye to all that free access and almost unlimited state-funded supplies when I left the teaching profession, but there you have it. Then, about 6 months ago, I made a new friend... I mean, an IN REAL LIFE friend, you guys! I know it's hard to believe but it totally happened. PLUS, she's a potter, with her own shop, studio, kiln -- the motherfucking works!
She's like a friend with benefits, 
but in a clay way, not in a gay way.*

Between my new found friendship with ceramic perks and this upcoming crafting challenge, I decided I'd through my hat back into the pottery game and make some vagina candle holders. Why candle holders, you ask? Because I remembered these wise words:



So, of course I'm going to make special vagina candle holders! It's one of my most favorite analogies, thus making my choice fairly easy, once I really thought about it.

Look! It's like she's glowing... 



Not surprisingly, they were quite enjoyable to make and pending that these beautiful little bitches survive the final glazing process, they will be all smooth and shiny! Since I hand sculpt them (and being true to life), no two will be exactly a like. Ahem.

I have offered one of these up for a prize in this fabulous contest. Plus, if you want to buy one completely apart from the contest, please leave a comment below or send me an email and I will make more and hook you up.


Remember, Christmas is coming, yo!
Nothing says that you care quite like a vagina candle holder.




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* Flight of the Concords joke. If you haven't seen this, please do - right here, now. GO!
OK, maybe leave a comment first, but then go.


9 comments:

  1. You have reminded me why I should be friends with high school teachers.

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  2. Those are actually pretty lovely. Kudos to linking it them with the someecard humor. I like it. Ellen

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  3. Another King's of Leon reference: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..... YOUR SEX IS ON FIRE....

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  4. DAMMIT. I was kind of hoping nobody would enter the contest so I could keep your vagina votive holder. It is SO PRETTY! (And I don't say that about every vagina, you know.)

    Also, I'm sorry I said it was a nut bowl. I just got swept away with it's majesty.

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  5. Thanks, everyone :)

    @Iris
    A NUT BOWL IS THEE BEST ALTERNATIVE, EVER.

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  6. These are lovely. You could even give one to someone and not tell them what it is, just saying. Awesome flaming vagina!

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  7. There's a Sculpture Garden here and one of the sculptures totally looks like a vagina, but it's called Gothic Personage, Bird-Flash. Yeah right. Call it what it is...

    Love your clay vagina. Wait, what?

    You are a real Craft Whore, I salute you.

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  8. I like to think that my delicate lady parts already glow on their own with my supervajayjay powers, so these votive holders really just literalize that which is already true.
    perfecto

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  9. These are incredible.
    Your talent knows no bounds.

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