Today, please welcome another friend of the male persuasion (they sure love to make appearances on the Estro'hood, don't they? Yay!) Deacon Blue. Although I discuss a fair amount of S-E-X on AinE, I haven't really addressed the use of, or my opinion of, pornography. I love what Deacon has to say about it! Opinions, both agreeing or disagreeing are always welcome. Bring it on!
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I'm immensely in favor of gender equality and I put women every bit as high in my respect and esteem as any man, but there are two ways that certain members of the feminist camp (whether women or men) can piss me off immediately.
First, use the word “herstory” in any way that isn't ironic or in the context of something soaked extra long in estrogen and then tell me how sexist the word “history” is, even though the word comes from Latin and French roots and the “his” part has no connection to gender in the etymology of the word.
Second, tell me that porn is evil.
You might as well tell me athletic shoes are evil, because it's about the same thing. True at times, but not inherently true.
First, let me get some personal traits out of the way. I'm a feminist, progressive, Christian deacon who is largely pro-porn. I could throw a few other adjectives in there, I'm sure, but some of you might already be suffering from cognitive dissonance just from that.
Second, there was a sexual behaviors/attitudes study recently in which the investigators could not find a single man to participate who had NOT ever viewed porn. Considering how many hetero feminist women are able to find decent guys to be their partners, that's a pretty good indication that porn doesn't lead to sexual oppression or sexual assault. If it did, sexual assault would have gone through the roof as soon as the Internet became flooded with porn way back in the Web's early days. In fact, sexual assault numbers have gone down in the U.S. since 1992.
Is there porn that is evil, whether because of subject matter or the treatment of the people in it (especially the women) or the working conditions or other things? Sure.
But in general, working in porn is like any other job. If you enter it broken, weak, needy or disadvantaged, you may get taken advantage of. Desperate people in most areas of life tend to get screwed by the people with the money and the ability to hire them. Most of us don't worry about whether migrants or poorly educated folks or whomever is abused in other industries, so I'm not sure why women are considered more frail, helpless and in need of protection against an industry they can choose to enter...or not.
Besides, before you talk about how much of porn might be the result of exploiting women (if you're so inclined), you need to realize two things. First, you don't know shit about MY porn and where I got it or whether it hurt anyone along the way, so you can't judge me. Second, you need to shut up about it unless you buy straight from local farms and have your clothes made by local tailors and grow a lot of your own food and don't ever drive or rely on anything that uses fossil fuels and don't go on the Internet and...
...because damn near everything we buy, everything we do and everything we enjoy as conveniences in our daily lives at some point came about by someone being exploited somewhere. Probably a lot of somebodies. In your own country or abroad.
Even if you're in the U.S. and say “I buy American!” realize that plenty of people are exploited and misused in factories and mills and shops in your own nation.
Thing is, porn isn't the problem, just like capitalism isn't the problem, social programs aren't the problem, and “those people” aren't the problem. The problem is that everywhere you look, you can find victims and victimizers. People who misuse or play any system for their own gain at the expense of others.
So, with porn, it's like anything else. If you buy it, buy it from companies that have strong reputations to maintain, and are less likely to abuse their most publicly visible workers. Buy stuff that showcases performers who seem to have some kind of autonomy and power (their own sites or product lines, etc.). Buy porn produced in part or in whole by the women themselves; often, amateur and semi-pro porn falls into this category. Buy porn that has kinks or fetishes that really speak to you—kinky stuff often focuses more on the kink or fetish and might have little or no sex in it at all. And so on.
Bottom line: I'm not saying porn can't be bad. But I don't like to demonize an entire industry simply because there are some weak people and bad apples. I just try to shop as responsibly as I can.
By Deacon Blue
www.holyhell.wordpress.com
@thedeaconblue on Twitter
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To me, porn is like chocolate. 1. You have to get the good stuff. 2. Have fun and enjoy it in moderation. 3. Gorging yourself on it could possibly make you a little sick.
Thanks again, Deacon Blue
-------------------------------------------------------
I'm immensely in favor of gender equality and I put women every bit as high in my respect and esteem as any man, but there are two ways that certain members of the feminist camp (whether women or men) can piss me off immediately.
First, use the word “herstory” in any way that isn't ironic or in the context of something soaked extra long in estrogen and then tell me how sexist the word “history” is, even though the word comes from Latin and French roots and the “his” part has no connection to gender in the etymology of the word.
Second, tell me that porn is evil.
You might as well tell me athletic shoes are evil, because it's about the same thing. True at times, but not inherently true.
First, let me get some personal traits out of the way. I'm a feminist, progressive, Christian deacon who is largely pro-porn. I could throw a few other adjectives in there, I'm sure, but some of you might already be suffering from cognitive dissonance just from that.
Second, there was a sexual behaviors/attitudes study recently in which the investigators could not find a single man to participate who had NOT ever viewed porn. Considering how many hetero feminist women are able to find decent guys to be their partners, that's a pretty good indication that porn doesn't lead to sexual oppression or sexual assault. If it did, sexual assault would have gone through the roof as soon as the Internet became flooded with porn way back in the Web's early days. In fact, sexual assault numbers have gone down in the U.S. since 1992.
Is there porn that is evil, whether because of subject matter or the treatment of the people in it (especially the women) or the working conditions or other things? Sure.
But in general, working in porn is like any other job. If you enter it broken, weak, needy or disadvantaged, you may get taken advantage of. Desperate people in most areas of life tend to get screwed by the people with the money and the ability to hire them. Most of us don't worry about whether migrants or poorly educated folks or whomever is abused in other industries, so I'm not sure why women are considered more frail, helpless and in need of protection against an industry they can choose to enter...or not.
Besides, before you talk about how much of porn might be the result of exploiting women (if you're so inclined), you need to realize two things. First, you don't know shit about MY porn and where I got it or whether it hurt anyone along the way, so you can't judge me. Second, you need to shut up about it unless you buy straight from local farms and have your clothes made by local tailors and grow a lot of your own food and don't ever drive or rely on anything that uses fossil fuels and don't go on the Internet and...
...because damn near everything we buy, everything we do and everything we enjoy as conveniences in our daily lives at some point came about by someone being exploited somewhere. Probably a lot of somebodies. In your own country or abroad.
Even if you're in the U.S. and say “I buy American!” realize that plenty of people are exploited and misused in factories and mills and shops in your own nation.
Thing is, porn isn't the problem, just like capitalism isn't the problem, social programs aren't the problem, and “those people” aren't the problem. The problem is that everywhere you look, you can find victims and victimizers. People who misuse or play any system for their own gain at the expense of others.
So, with porn, it's like anything else. If you buy it, buy it from companies that have strong reputations to maintain, and are less likely to abuse their most publicly visible workers. Buy stuff that showcases performers who seem to have some kind of autonomy and power (their own sites or product lines, etc.). Buy porn produced in part or in whole by the women themselves; often, amateur and semi-pro porn falls into this category. Buy porn that has kinks or fetishes that really speak to you—kinky stuff often focuses more on the kink or fetish and might have little or no sex in it at all. And so on.
Bottom line: I'm not saying porn can't be bad. But I don't like to demonize an entire industry simply because there are some weak people and bad apples. I just try to shop as responsibly as I can.
By Deacon Blue
www.holyhell.wordpress.com
@thedeaconblue on Twitter
-------------------------------------------------------
To me, porn is like chocolate. 1. You have to get the good stuff. 2. Have fun and enjoy it in moderation. 3. Gorging yourself on it could possibly make you a little sick.
Thanks again, Deacon Blue
